More Aid for Israel Needed

A Satire By Jordan White

Copyright (c) 2003

Here is Israel’s “official response” to the death-by-bulldozer of American peace activist Rachel Corrie:

1. We need money to procure an additional bulldozer(s) to replace the one the American woman damaged with her body when it ran her over.

2. We need additional billions of dollars for eye care for our bulldozer operators, since they “don’t notice” ( as we said in an earlier statement) the civilians that are in their way. Obviously, the problem is that they need glasses, which, of course, the US should pay for. After all, they paid for the bulldozers.

3. We need money to purchase “riot gear” for our bulldozer operators to protect them from terrorist girls with bullhorns so they don’t hurt these guys driving twenty-ton machines.

4. The US must immediately bomb Olympia, Washington since obviously a terrorist cell exists there and must be eliminated. Since the US bombers may be preoccupied with eliminating Baghdad (hey, we understand, these things need to be done), bombing Olympia may not be convenient, so at least the home of the terrorist Corrie family should be razed.

Please call your Senators and Representatives to make sure this money is appropriated, immediately. The fate of Israel, the “only democracy in the Middle East” depends on you.